For children with PDA
The amazing thing about PDA is that it makes sense!
Imagine this: You are engrossed in an activity or task, or perhaps you are in a deep dream. You have almost forgotten your surroundings, as the only thing playing in your head is what is happening right now. Your state is fixated on the one concept of what is happening in this very moment. You know exactly where it is going to lead to; maybe a completed essay, a meal prepared, or the tiling for the new bathroom completed. The fact is, you are involved, and only in this one thing. The world around you is quiet and you have shut out the sensory information that surrounds you.
Suddenly, there appears to be a person in your space. This might be a child or an adult but they need you, right now. So quickly your quiet and intentional space is disturbed. “Come, come!” they say. You freeze. What does this mean? I have to go now? But my job, my activity… it’s not finished and I was so content. Uh, uh.…… This is so frustrating, I, I, I just can’t leave! URGH!
What you just read above is a classic example of what happens for a child with PDA. The anxiety that fills you when you are not ready for a transition is real. This is common in children with diagnoses such as ADHD and ASD, even if there is no confirmed PDA diagnosis. Fixating on tasks or ideals is so much more prominent for these children. For some children, almost everything they do in a day can become a hyper-focused experience, even when this is not what you can observe externally.
Many parents tell me that they avoid going out with their children because of unknown behaviours, transitioning from activities, or confrontation because the child won’t handle it. The good news is that there are so many things we can do to support our children. To give up on your child’s ability to learn flexibility, boundaries, or engage in the community is entirely unnecessary. All children are capable of learning.
The secret is adapting your communication to meet your child’s needs.
This is where the APD model can help.
Acknowledge: Approach your child calmly and acknowledge what they are doing. “Hey, this looks fun. You have dinosaurs and trucks. Can you tell me what’s happening?”
Present: Present the situation you need your child to understand. “I have to go to the supermarket because we ran out of milk! Oh goodness. I love your game, so I have an idea. You can have 5 minutes more whilst I get ready, or can you find your shoes for me and I will race you to the door?
Discuss: Here, is where we discuss the options presented. Maybe your child will be happy to accept one of the options you presented. In some cases, you may be met with defiance. That’s ok. Negotiating and staying calm can teach your child a lot of new skills.
We acknowledge that some behaviours can be extreme and that you may be changing your child’s habits due to previous accommodation and parenting styles. This means you will be met with resistance.
Our TEAM are here to help you through this and will support you to develop strategies SPECIFIC TO YOUR CHILD’S NEEDS.
You are not alone. All children are born to learn new skills.
Written by Annabel Yagos
